Living together?

Almost 2 months ago now, Mike and I made a private, personal commitment to each other that we are going to spend our lives together. The moment that he slipped the ring on my finger, was the moment that our lives together began. As we plan our wedding day, we are really planning a public celebration of the personal commitment that we have already made to one another. We have made the commitment and God knows our hearts too. We have made the commitment to Him as well that we will be together forever. Coming from broken homes ourselves, we don't believe in divorce. There is no problem that is too big for us to overcome with the help of our God. He will give us the strength to work through our problems and struggles. I love Mike now and I will love him tomorrow and every day after that.

Last night in our small group we talked about unconditional love. God has given us His unconditional love. We do not have to work to earn His love. It is something that He gives to us freely. I feel the same way with Mike. After two and a half years together, I now feel that there is nothing Mike will ever "have" to do to have my love. I give my love to him freely and openly, no matter what the circumstances of the moment/day. I have bad days and so does he, but when everything is said and done, I still love him with all that I have to give.

This comes up only because we face another hard decision in our lives together. On Friday, Mike gave notice at his condo that he'll be moving out by March 1. We had taken on this additional stress of finding Mike a place to live. Our goal was to find a place that would suit both of us when we are married in August. He would sign a year lease now and then I would move in with him after the wedding in August. We threw a wrench in our plan when we realized that buying a house is a really great decision for us financially. We even have an appointment this Thursday (tomorrow) to start the ball rolling with a mortgage broker. Then yesterday afternoon, my roommate Beth left me a voicemail. She said that as much as we've both been trying, it's just not working out for her to be living at the house. I totally agree with her, but had decided to suck it up until August when I would be moving anyway. So now I am faced with finding a new roommate by March.

As you can imagine, my thoughts turned to the things facing us in the next few months. We are planning a wedding for 6 months from now. We are considering buying a house. We have to find Mike a place to live by March 1. And now I need a new roommate as well! It's just amazing to me that all of this is hitting in just a few short months. With Mike searching for a place and my roommate giving notice 3 days later, we've realized that maybe God is shoving us through a door that we hadn't considered - moving in together as roommates. This possibility brings up so many different struggles, but ultimately it is about our lives and what feels like the right decision for us.

We don't think that Mike's family will agree with or support this decision. It makes it difficlult since we want them to be there the day we get married. We've asked his grandfather to marry us and I'm afraid that he'll change his mind if we move in together. This is our decision though about the rest of our lives. If we've already made the commitment to each other privately and with God, why is it a bad thing for us to move in together as roommates now? Is it worth the battle that may be caused or should we just figure it out in another way? I'm torn, but not because I think this is the wrong decision. I'm torn because I love Mike's family and want their support, but I also know what the right decision is for us.

Will they understand and trust us that our decision to move in together is a God-centered one? WIll they accept that we have prayed about this a lot and that this is what God is telling us to do? Will they be able to get past their own religious "rules" and see that what God is telling us to do may actually be the right thing? This is what I struggle with today. Not the wedding, not spending our lives together, not even the huge decision of buying a house. I struggle with the battle in my own heart between what God is telling me to do and what our families perceptions of those choices will be. My mom put it best when she said, "If you don't move in together now, when this opportunity is so apparent, then you are stupid."